A Cthulhu Hymnal

AI Cthulhu

Words by Brian Biddle, to the tune of ``Calypso'' by John Denver.

We dived from the boat into crystal clear water
To search the Pacific for treasures untold,
But the city we found on an undersea island,
When we looked proved to be several million years old;
And a city that ancient was not built by man...

Ai Cthulhu, we should have known better,
But we'd never listened to stories men say.
Ai Cthulhu, the horrors we met with,
The things that we saw make me yodel each day.

The buildings we found there were quite cyclopean,
When viewed in the rays of the gibbous moon's light;
With carvings of monsters in indecent poses,
All doing those things which could ruin your sight.
And mostly in threes, which could never be right.

Ai Cthulhu, we could have escaped then,
But our curiosity was our downfall.
Ai Cthulhu, so into the city,
The terror within there could destroy us all.

The first clue we had to there being a danger,
Was when something with tentacles swallowed two men;
And when the Professor was ate by a shoggoth,
We knew that our explorations had to end.
And so back to the mainland we quickly did flee.

Ai Cthulhu, our troubles continued,
We'd noticed the natives all had staring eyes.
Ai Cthulhu, they worshipped the Old One,
To find they were Deep Ones came as a surprise.

I only escaped to bring back my story,
But no-one believed in the horror I'd saw,
They sent me away from the old Miskatonic,
The threat to the world they all chose to ignore,
But someday I promise to have my revenge.

Ai Cthulhu, I know all about you,
I've read all the books and I know all the spells.
Ai Cthulhu, I'm coming to get you
Once they let me out of this nice padded cell!

Repeat chorus ending with a yodel - which becomes a strangled scream which is ominously cut short.

[Next: ``Alone in the dream sea'']