A Cthulhu Hymnal

Cthulhu's Garden

Words by Abner J. Mintz and Sean Roberts, to the tune of ``Octopus's Garden'' by the Beatles:


Don't want to be
Under the sea
In Dread Cthulhu's garden
In R'yleh

Don't want to fight
Unearthly lights
And the thought of
Seeing Mi-Go makes me gray

Cthonians laugh and move around
Because they know we're aboveground


I haven't got
Even a shot
Of getting myself mugged
By a Deep One

I'm paranoid
And so I will avoid
Places never touched
By direct sun

I won't mention He Who's Never Named
But Hunting Horrors can't be tamed


Don't want to be
Where geometry
Has gone on holiday
At the beach

Sanity demands
Creatures with hands
Not a million tentacles
On a leech!

The Hounds give chase, I know I'm in a race
Round off the corners, that's what I must do


If sentient trash
Burbles for my cash
A homeless shoggoth?
You know I'll be sure
To keep a tin
Of gelatin
And while its making friends
I will abjure!

An Elder Sign would help me to be free
Of this black mass that wants to eat me


[Next: Don't Go That Way]   [Previous: Cthulhu of Ages]