Heard about Houston
Heard about Detroit
Heard about Pittsburgh PA
But what about Madison, Wisconsin? There are bookstores. There are plenty of cafes; only the Living Room stays open after mid-night. The Onion is well-known to be Madison's only source for news, though there are two satiricial papers of dubious taste, the Capitol Times and the Wisconsin State Journal. There is a university, which I once attended. There is a student ghetto. There are over 43,000 students. There is Balkan lounge funk, performed by the Reptile Palace Orchestra. The summers are hot, humid and mosquito-ridden; the winters are the stuff of nightmares --- ``the glaciers stopped here,'' in the words of the poet. There are visits by Gottlob Frege --- a unique honor in this day and age. There is a great deal of milk and even more beer, Wisconsin leading the country in per-capita alcohol consumption. There are occasional stampedes of 14,000 students in the football stadium.

Snow falls as late as May Day. The best times to visit are May and September. Those are also the best times to live here.