"Lectures will continue until morale improves."
"You of all people should realize that you can't keep a restaurant secret by telling your four best friends about it."
"My great ambition is to model cognition of the quantum consciousness systems using Abelian groups. I begin very simply, assuming all topoi are Groethendieck."
"And then, and then, as you Americans say, fools, I show you all!"
"Just a salad."
"But what do they do with the rest of the pig's face?"
"This is the graph everybody wished they could see in high school."
"How did you meet B.?" "First of all, it is not true, what C. says, that she was my judge when I was on trial."
"These days, I'm more comfortable saying I study complicated systems."
"I think what happened is that he came up with a model and then went looking for an explanation."
A: "Are you French?" B: "No." A: "You speak English?" B: "Yes." A: "Can you tell me where is the elephant?" B: "Pardon?" A: "The elephant." B: "Desole."
A: "Can she think while she's wearing that dress?" B: "Can I?" C: "She can definitely think about mathematics just fine." B: "Ah, France." A: "Men!"
"Why don't you give your talk here at the table? Look, I have a pen."
A: "The taxi driver is angry we are using him instead of the Metro." B: "But the Metro is on strike." A: "Yes, exactly."
"They get a series of numbers and then they ask themselves what that series counts; it's how they think."
"When a French president has an affair, it produces a normalienne; when an American president has an affair, it produces a dry-cleaning bill."
"I have discovered a trajectory in Babelfish which escapes to infinity."
"Of course, this was a number of years ago, before a new kind of science transformed the human condition."
"How do you say `Actually, a large number of Americans, perhaps even a silent majority, favor strengthening multilateral institutions for the resolution of international conflicts?'"
A: "Any questions?" B: "Can you explain the human meaning of the subadditivity of entropy in bi-infinite spatial systems?" A: "No, because I don't understand the question." C: "Entropy is additive if and only if the parts of the system are statisticially independent; if there are interactions it's sub-additive." B: "But what about barbabrbar?" C: "I'll have to think about that." D (sotto voce): "What was the last thing he said?" C: "I have no idea."
A: "I don't want to be rich, exactly, I just want to have apartments in Paris, New York and San Francisco. My friends could share them while I'm not there." B: "I'd like to have lovers with apartments in those places. My friends could share them, too."
"I have solved your model from this morning."
"I had to shave my head for the electrodes."
Posted at June 23, 2003 09:26 | permanent link