A Cthulhu Hymnal

The Lair of Great Cthulhu

Mr. Lawrence Press writes: ``It has sometimes been mis-credited to Clayton Clark, but he nothing to do with it. Joan Carruth, David Geller, and I wrote it in late '78 or early '79.'' To the tune of ``Chatanooga Choo-Choo'':

Pardon me boy,
Is this the Lair of Great Cthulhu?
In the city of slime,
Where it is night all the time.

Bob Hope never went
Along the road to Great Cthulhu,
And Triple-A has no maps,
And all the Tcho Tcho's lay traps.

You'll see an ancient sunken city
Where the angles are wrong.
You'll see the fourth demonsion
If you're there very long.
Come to the conventicle,
Bring along your pentacle,
Otherwise you'll be dragged off by a tentacle.

A mountain's in the middle,
With a house on the peak.
A gnashin' and a thrashin'
And a clackin' of a beak.
Your soul you will be a lackin'
When you see that mighty Kraken.
Ooo-ooo, Great Cthulhu's startin' to speak.

So come on aboard,
Along the Road to Great Cthulhu,
Wen-di-gos and Dholes
Will make Big Macs of our souls.

Under the sea,
Down in the ancient city of R'lyeh,
In the Lair of Great Cthulhu
They'll suck your soul away...
(Great Cthulhu, Great Cthulhu
--- Suck your soul ---
Great Cthulhu, Great Cthulhu)
...In the Lair of Great Cthulhu,
They'll suck your soul away!

Here follows an extended saxaphone solo a-la Tex Beneke...

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